why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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