I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
