He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
