is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
