Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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