Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
