It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
