Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
