sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
