At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
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