Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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