you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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