Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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