Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
