I wannas sexs uuuuu
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Randomize
