I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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