I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
