my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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