lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Randomize
