it was like his penis was on wheels.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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