No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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