Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
