I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
