Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
