At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's blow job season.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
