Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
