Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
