I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
