New invention idea: vibrating tampons
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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