I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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