i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
