Yo dont text me then not text me
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
