sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
