3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
