So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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