dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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