If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
