Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
