I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
