it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
