Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You did what with his pubic hair?
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