I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
