The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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