What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
