Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
