i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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