Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
