Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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