Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
