Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
