I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
This is my gift to your gina
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
