it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
